


Never Mind the Problems Of Geography

by jenish (phizzle)



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-27
Updated: 2005-04-27
Packaged: 2017-10-07 20:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phizzle/pseuds/jenish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For laurelcrowned.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Never Mind the Problems Of Geography

**Author's Note:**

> For laurelcrowned.

[a + b x c = d]

  
**[a]**

Billy woke up one morning and knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Dom was going to kiss him that day.

A strange thought, perhaps, it would seem, being as Dom had never done any such thing before, and for all their flirting, Billy had never taken him seriously. But still, there it was. His lips almost tingled from the knowledge, and he blinked at the empty space in the bed next to him blearily. Of course it was empty, it was always empty, why on earth should Dom be filling it?

Well, but he _should_. And wasn't that an odd thing to realise, after all this time. That Billy was, in point of fact, really rather into Dom. At which point, his thoughts dissolved into crude jokes, and he snorted his way to the bathroom to begin the day.

A few problems presented themselves. Firstly, Billy was in Scotland and Dom was in Hawaii. Secondly, Dom had no immediate plans to visit Billy, at least none he'd _told_ him about. Thirdly, while Dom did, in fact, have a break from work at the moment, it wasn't really long enough for him to fly there, kiss Billy, and fly back.

Mind you, how long did a kiss take? If necessary, Billy would go to the airport and find a nice comfortable private room with him, there to explore very thoroughly the feel of Dom's mouth.

Mmm. Good line of thought there. _Very_ good line of thought, there. Dom's mouth. He knew the contours of it, the lines and spaces, as well as he knew his own. But how did it _feel_? What would be the sensation? Rough, smooth? Soft, hard? Wet, hot, cold, dry, _what_?

_Don't know. Want to find out._

It took Billy fifteen minutes to fix his breakfast, and a further twenty to eat it. He kept pausing, mind racing over all the ways in which Dom could do this. He'd want to surprise Billy, of course. He'd want to get Billy into such a state of shock there'd be less chance of rejection. How was poor Dom to know that Billy would no more reject him than pour man-eating ants into his shirt?

So Billy had the upper hand. He knew what Dom wasn't sure of; that he'd kiss back. Quite enthusiastically and with a lot of tongue. Now there was just the question of _how_ Dom would go about this kissing-him business.

If he got an early flight, he could be landing in Scotland in a couple of hours from now. It depended how far ahead Dom had planned this thing. Knowing him, as Billy did, he'd had it planned out for a week, so it was entirely possible Dom had flown out yesterday and was, as he paced, enjoying a very fine breakfast in a Glasgow hotel.

Which meant that the game was on. Dom knew Billy's routines as well as he knew them himself. So Billy rumpled his hair up, slipped his coat on, and took Horatio for his walk.

Dom didn't jump out at him at any point on the walk. Dom was not in disguise as any of the other pedestrians out to enjoy the day. And it was a good one, too, sunny with a light breeze, not that Billy paid attention to this. Horatio did, chasing a large leaf in the park until he got bored and watched a blade of grass to see if it moved.

Dom did not appear at Billy's local when he stopped in for lunch. Dom was not at the newsagents' when Billy went in for his paper. Dom was not, it began to dawn on Billy, in Glasgow at all.

The city felt normal. There wasn't that extra sparkle it seemed to wear when Dom was in it. As if it said, 'Dominic's here, everyone! Let us be glittery for him and shower him in small sparkly particles!' The city, it seemed, did not have the best grasp of English. It probably still spoke mostly in Celtic, so that wasn't entirely a surprise. This place being the heartbeat of Scotland and all.

So. Dom was not in Glasgow. Dom was not, in point of fact, in Scotland at all.

Was Billy wrong? Did Dom not intend to kiss him today? And if not today, when? Tomorrow? The next day? Fuck that, it just was not good enough. Life, Billy thought as he stomped home in a fume, had handed him the certainty of kissing Dom today. Life, Billy decided as he slammed his front door and sat heavily on the sofa, had better fucking start **delivering**. One Dominic Monaghan, please, as quick as you can. Deliver to one Mr Boyd, Glasgow, Scotland. Hurry up, now, you owe me.

Billy squeezed his eyes shut. _When I open them_, he reasoned, _Dom will be standing in front of me. And I will tell him what a tardy bastard he is, and then kiss the living daylights out of him._

Cautiously, he opened one eye. In the limited line of vision he had, there was no Dom. He closed the eye again, and counted to thirty-nine and three quarters. In eighths. Then opened both eyes, full.

His laptop blinked back at him. But no Dom.

Billy kicked the coffee table. The objects it was supporting skittered over its surface. Head in his hands, one corner of a white rectangle flashed into his vision. He looked up.

Laptop. Laptop. Lap……………**top, I know!**

Five minutes later, Billy had a flight booked and was throwing things into a bag while simultaneously ringing for a taxi.

~*~

**[b]**

Billy got to the terminal before he thought _Dom could have planned this part, too. Maybe he's going to ambush me at the airport._ He kept his eyes peeled, but Dom did not molest him by the stacks of books that said so little in so many words. Dom was not near the ties, Dom was not by the aftershave. Dom was not, in fact, in the airport at all.

_Not in Scotland, remember?_ Billy sighed, and boarded the plane when his flight was called.

He dozed on the flight, dreamed Dom was sitting there next to him, telling him to hurry up with this bemused smile on his face. Billy only leaned over and snuggled against him, sighing contentedly.

The air steward woke him as Dom was petting his hair. "Excuse me, sir, but I think the young lady would like to get up now," he said, gently, and Billy looked up to realise he had been leaning heavily on the woman in the seat next to him. He blushed, apologised profusely, and leaned back to let her pass. 'Sorry' he mouthed again at her retreating back, sinking down into his seat. "Would you like a blanket, sir?" the steward asked, and he gratefully nodded.

Luckily managing not to doze again, he apologised three more times for falling asleep on her when the woman returned from the loo. She said it was okay, and wasn't he Billy Boyd, she'd seen him in two plays, and she didn't want to bother him, and if he wanted to fall asleep on her again he was welcome to. He smiled, told her he was fine, and they talked about Scottish theatre for a while. It had made, as he told her when the plane landed, for a lovely change.

She'd looked faintly puzzled. It appeared she was not a fantasy fan.

Billy collected his bags and took a deep breath as he left the airport. With any luck, Dom didn't know he was here, which meant Billy could be the one doing the surprising. It also meant that Dom was not here to drive him. Billy had Eve's number, but Dom had informed him of Eve's driving … quirks. _Uh, no_, he decided, heading for the taxis.

The thing was, he realised as he waited for an available one, he didn't know exactly where to go. He could go to Dom's house, but would he be there? He'd told Billy there was a filming break, would he spend his time off at home, or would he be surfing, or at some party, or shopping, or – fuck it. Billy went for the most likely option and hauled his bag onto his shoulder.

It was a fairly short taxi ride to the nearest beach, but a quick scan of it turned up no Dom. Billy tried the next one; again, no Dom riding the waves, no Dom drying off on the sand, no Dom in line for an ice cream or smoothie. Dom was not at the next three beaches Billy tried, nearer and nearer to his house.

Billy sighed. Not the beach, then. Home? He gave the driver the address, and looked at the house when they pulled up. Well, it _looked_ empty. He tried the door all the same, and yep – just as he thought. Dom wasn't home.

Fuck. So where now? He glanced at his watch – and grinned. _An extra, what, ten hours for today. Time enough for Dom to kiss me._

Now all he had to do was _find_ Dom.

He got out his phone, going down the numbers. Dialled Eve's. "Hello?" She sounded excited when she answered.

"Eve? It's Billy. Listen, I'm, uh, looking for Dom. He's not at the beach, he's not home, and I thought you'd probably know where he is. Oh! Hi, how are you?" Billy sat on the front step, cradling the phone in one hand and his head in the other.

Eve paused. "Wait. Billy, you're – you're in Hawaii?"

"You catch on quick. Yes, I am. Is Dom about?" God, he felt like he was a kid and asking if Dom could come out and play. _Mm, wanna play. Come out, come out, wherever you are, Dommie, Billy wants to play._ There was a sound on the other end, as if she was shifting, or maybe sitting down. Either way, like she wanted to _concentrate_.

"Billy. You. Are in Hawaii. And you want to know where Dom is." Slowly, point by point. The last could almost be defined as a question, but more of the rhetorical variety than any.

"Yes." Billy confirmed.

"Right. So. You haven't. Um. You just got here?"

Billy checked his watch again. "Yeah, an hour or two ago."

"Okay." Eve breathed out slowly. "I am going to guess," she said, "that you are here looking for Dom. Now, you don't sound greatly upset, so I am going to guess that Dom doesn't know about this visit, and. Yes. Am I right?"

"Yup." Billy hugged himself.

"You sound like a man with a secret." Eve suddenly laughed. "Oh, man, you've gotta be kidding me," she giggled.

"What?" Billy tapped his foot and waited until Eve stopped laughing. "_What_?" he repeated.

"Billy," she tried to breathe, "are you here to – uh – are you here to kiss Dom?"

"No," Billy answered, "I'm here so Dom can kiss _me_. Now where are you hiding him?" He looked around, half expecting him to appear out of the bushes.

Eve stopped laughing. "Billy, he – he left yesterday."

~*~

**[c]**

_I'm going to kiss Billy today._

Dom opened one eye and felt the bottom of his heart give way. He screwed his whole body into a ball, taking the sheets with him, and shivered a little. It was _cold_, and he was going to kiss Billy, and Billy wasn't going to kiss him back, and he was never going to sleep again, ever ever ever why hadn't Jorge come with him? He needed a hug right now.

To his great surprise, he fell asleep instead.

The knock on his door at eight didn't wake him, nor did the call of "Room service!" A tinkle, and footsteps fading, and still he didn't wake, curled in a ball, hands clenched in the sheets. His eyes opened a few times, but he shut them tightly again and willed it not to be this day until he sank down again.

A quick consultation between his internal organs saw his stomach win out, and it filed a complaint to his brain. The complaint was held in a queue until _Gonna kiss Billy_ and _Gonna get rejected_ had had their say, along with _How long will I get to kiss him for before he pushes me away?_ and _What the fuck is this going to do to us?_ In the long run, Dom wanted to be asleep for these; at least, if he thought about them too much, he wanted to hit himself over the head with something very hard so he didn't have to think any more. Room cleared for any other business saw the stomach's complaint come to light, and Dom woke up to the sound of it growling.

The tray outside his door held food that was cold, but still, it was food. Dom wolfed it down, and thought about getting dressed. _Every step to going outside of this room is a step closer to putting the plan into action and getting my heart stomped to a thousand little pieces. So, maybe I'll wait a bit._

He waited a bit. He waited a bit more, head in his hands, staring at his thigh. He waited a bit more, hovering over the phone, Billy's number snapping to the front of his mind, until the need for him passed. Billy couldn't help with this. Billy was the _cause_ of this. Billy mustn't know about this. Well, Billy was going to find _out_ about this, but not before Dom had at least kissed him a _little_.

Dom closed his eyes, full sensation of leaning in, not too slowly but not too fast, hovering near Billy's mouth, maybe taking the corner of it between his lips and just, holding. Moving slightly, taking all of Billy's lips between his, holding, pressing, feeling, caressing. Taking it slow. _Fuck, wanna kiss him so much._ Dom breathed out. He had to do it. _Had_ to.

_Shower first._ He turned on the water, taking deep, calming breaths as he stood under the spray, making no fast or sudden movements, calm, calm, must stay calm. Calm, I am calm, I am an oasis of calm, what if Billy kisses me back, I am – what?

Sensation, kissing Billy, Billy kissing back, just as slow, winding his hand in Dom's hair, fuck, fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckstop. Dom pressed his hands to his eyes, realising from the shift on his back that he was sinking to the floor, water pounding in front of his head. He pulled his knees up and leaned on them. _Can't think like that, stupidstupid, don't get your hopes up._

A small voice in his head piped up with _What are you going to kiss him for, then?_

_Because I have to, or I'll go insane. I can't not say it any more._

The voice sounded like it was gently reminding him of a bloody great wall as he was revving an engine. Which, well. Yeah. _But you do say it, you know. You say it in every way it's possible to say it without –_

_What I'm about to do?_ Dom sighed. _I can't say the words, don't have the guts, would have said them years ago if I could, but can't just stand here any more, have to at least …_

_Try?_ it asked.

_No. Don't have enough hope, for that._

_But you don't know for sure_, it reminded him.

_I know enough._ Dom stood up, finished the shower. _I'm going to finish this._

He was half way through getting dressed when the voice whispered, _How will kissing him finish anything but what you have with him already?_

The fear flattened him to the floor. _Fuck. Holy fucking fuckity fuck. Bollocking shite on a flagpole. Fucking christ on a sodding crutch hobbling to Bethlehem. Crapping goats with whip sticks._ He lay for a minute, mouth clamped shut, staring wildly at the shirt half over his arms until he broke, curling up and sobbing uncontrollably into his hands.

A good fifteen minutes at least of abandoned, undignified, racking sobs later, he lay still. _Go home, Dommie_, he told himself.

_I am home._ Miserable. Stubborn. Not getting anywhere.

He couldn't decide if it was lucky there was a cancellation and plane, albeit with two connections and taking twice as long as normal, almost immediately or not. He couldn't care. He couldn't even watch as Glasgow disappeared under the clouds, barely having registered his presence for all the few hours he had spent there. He leaned his head against the window, tried not to think that Billy was down there somewhere, and couldn't even care that he was crying again. Not sobbing, this time, but enough that the people in the seat next to him on each plane left him alone. For the most part, so did the flight staff. He gulped back tears as the island swung into view, and knew he couldn't go home.

He blinked, wiped his eyes, and took a (thankfully silent) taxi to Jorge's. One look at his face, and he was pulled into the biggest crushing hug they'd ever had.

"You don't have to tell me," Jorge said as he sat Dom down with a drink in front of him. "But, dude, was it awful?"

"I couldn't," Dom choked, not taking the drink for fear his shaking hands would drop it and break the glass. "I was there, I was in Scotland, but I. I didn't even leave the hotel room, Jorge." He turned his face to Jorge's, who hugged him hard again. "It would have just," Dom held back a sob. "I couldn't stand to do it and lose Billy."

Jorge held him as the dam broke again, rocking until Dom stilled. He sat up, wiping his eyes. "Thanks, man." He leaned, Jorge kissing his hair fondly.

"Any time, dude. It was a brave thing to do just _going_ there, Dom."

Dom sniffed. "Got any tissues?" Jorge nodded and got up to fetch them. "I'd better ring Eve, she'll want to know how it went," Dom sighed.

"I can tell her for you, if you want. I mean, if it's hard to talk about it to too many people…" Jorge waited as Dom blew his nose and nodded his thanks. Jorge went to the phone, glancing back into the living room as he dialled. "Eve? Listen, Dom's back, and I think you'd better get over – wait, what?"

Dom looked up as Jorge gestured wildly to him. Deciphering the signals enough to get the gist, he joined Jorge at the phone and took the receiver. "Hi? Eve?"

"Dom," Eve sounded more excited than he'd heard her in a while. "Dom, Billy's here."

~*~

**[d]**

Dom splashed cold water on his face, breathing fast and trying not to let his thoughts slow for long enough to be anything more than a blur. "You ready?" Jorge dangled his car keys. "I'll take you, don't think you're in a state to drive." He looked closely at Dom. "You okay?"

Dom grabbed his shoulders. "Billy's here. What does that _mean_?"

"That you need to get your ass in the car," Jorge almost dragged him out, getting him in the passenger seat before he could notice the change in scenery. Dom couldn't sit still, gazing out of the window but not seeing any of what was going past, or rather, what they were passing, and isn't it funny how everything depends on perspective and how perspective can change even without you moving and why is Billy here is he here to let me kiss him will he kiss me back and don't tell me to shut up, Billy's here, I can hope now.

Dom let his forehead come to rest on the window and serene tears to leak out. _Billy wants me to kiss him_, the knowledge came, clear as a bell. He sat up straight.

By the time they drew up in front of Eve's, Dom was quivering, humming in his seat. Jorge glanced over at him. "You alright, man?" He suppressed the urge to feel Dom's forehead for a temperature.

Dom just turned and gave him the kind of grin that made people back away. Jorge, however, was drawn by them, and scruffled Dom into a headlock. "Kinda think so," Dom replied, muffled against Jorge's shirt.

"Come on, loverboy, let's get you inside." Jorge chuckled at the speed with which Dom's seatbelt was unbuckled and door was opened. Dom moved like Eve's house had a Monaghan-magnet in it; and if you think about it, Jorge grinned, it did.

"Alright, alright, there's no need to bang the door down," Eve opened it, stilling Dom's insistent rapping. He flew at her, hugging the _life_ out of her, and whispered,

"He's still here?"

"I practically had to hold him down when you guys pulled up," Eve whispered back. "You'd best come in."

Dom followed her through the hall, past the kitchen, to the living –

…room. Dom stopped, swallowed. Billy stood right in front of him, really there, really real.

They didn't say anything, just stood, staring at each other, breathing. The air around and between them swirled, bringing Dom's scent to Billy, Billy's to Dom. Dom's lips parted, and Billy spoke.

"You're late," he said.

Dom closed the distance in two strides. Inches from Billy, he paused, swallowing hard. "L-late for what?"

"I waited," Billy breathed, looking _right into_ Dom's eyes. "I took Horatio for his walk, I got the paper, I had lunch, I … you weren't there." He dropped his gaze.

Dom's mouth was dry. "I – I was supposed to be?" Yes, it was a question. His arms hesitated, hovering closer to Billy's skin, tingling, itching, wanting. Needing.

"_Yes_," Billy insisted, back up to Dom, and oh, the look on his face, oh. Oh. Oh. "You were meant to come and surprise me, and…" He trailed off. Eyes down. Full house?

"You _knew_?" Dom's breath left him in a squeak.

"I woke up this morning, and I just … I just, knew." Billy reached out, one finger, curling, hooking in Dom's belt loop. "Knew I wanted you to," he whispered, eyes up. House, line, bingo. Dom closed his eyes.

"Billy," he breathed, leaning an atom or five closer.

Billy touched his cheek, just lightly. "Oh, my Dommie, have you been crying?" _Mine, my Dommie, mine, yes, mine, my Dom. Gonna take care of you now, my Dommie. You've got your Billy to look out for you._ Dom leaned, full, and Billy stepped in, wrapped his arms around him, held him close. Dom listened, listened, and there – Billy's heartbeat. It skipped when Dom's arms circled Billy's waist, and sped a fraction when Billy nuzzled his cheek against him.

He nudged Dom's ear with his nose, then Dom's cheek, then Dom's nose, nudging him up, ever up. He pressed their noses together for a second, mouths a breath apart, Dom's lips parted softly.

Billy kissed him. Kissed the corner of Dom's mouth, shifting to take his lips, upper then lower, between his own, and massage them, and nibble just a little. Taking it slow. A sound escaped Dom, and he kissed back, press and touch and breath and warmth, and slow edges of tongues, just brushing each other, skating over teeth and lips, finding again, taste. Slow, soft. _He feels smooth, soft, wet … hot_, Billy counted. _Good. Tastes like – like the sea, yeah, feels like I'm flooded._ He moved closer. Dom sighed and melted completely into Billy.

At the door, Eve peeked in. Her hands flew to her mouth to stifle a small squeal, and she turned to Jorge, gesturing with her elbows. He looked, and broke out in the biggest grin. He swung Eve around, and she laughed into his shoulder. They retreated to the kitchen, put the kettle on.

"They did it," Eve beamed.

"About damn time," Jorge hugged her, again, joy lending itself to them, and she curled to his side and snuggled.

Billy's hand was in Dom's hair, Dom's on his back, when the kiss ended. It ended with a sigh and their noses nuzzling and jostling together.

"I thought I was the one going to kiss _you_," Dom murmured, neither of them keeping still, moving, slowly, so slowly, in tandem, perfect unison, from the centre. From _their_ centre.

"So kiss me," Billy breathed, tilting. Dom took the invitation.


End file.
